Unit 23 :
Conflict Resolution (Part 1)

Advanced

Vocabulary

Repeat these sentences with your teacher first.

1. To see eye to eye (phr)
 to agree or have similar opinions

2. Out of hand (phr)
immediately, or without even thinking about it

3. To put up barriers (phr)
to stop progress or make it difficult to achieve something

4. To get things out in the open (phr)
to make things not secret or to discuss something openly

5. To talk through something (phr)
 to discuss something in detail

6. To poach (phr)
to convince someone to leave one organization to join yours

7. To nose around (phr)
 to try to get information

8. To step on toes (phr)
to upset someone by doing things that are their responsibility or supposed to be under their control

9. To keep someone in the loop (phr)
to keep someone informed or up-to-date about something

10. To give someone a heads up (phr)
 to tell someone something is going to happen

Dialogue

Read the dialogue aloud with your teacher.

Trevor

Andrew

Thanks for taking the time to chat Andrew. I know you’re busy, but I just wanted to talk through a few things that’ve been on my mind.

Okay???

Yeah, well, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye on things. That’s not necessarily a problem, but I guess it’s how we do it that concerns me.

Not sure I follow?

Well, for example, look at our regional managers meeting last week. I really felt like I was being attacked, because you kept interrupting and… I feel like you dismissed a lot of my ideas out of hand.

Really? I don’t remember interrupting you. I do remember disagreeing with your ideas though. They simply weren’t… practical. 

And we’re supposed to be able to discuss these things openly.

Yes, for sure, but I guess I feel that there’s something going on… it feels like you’re putting up barriers. Repeatedly. I just want to know why?

 Is there something I did or said that’s upset you?

No, not at all. I wouldn’t just oppose your ideas for no good reason.

You sure? Might as well get things out in the open now… is there anything else bothering you?

Well, there are some things that bug me, I mean separate from what happens in meetings. You know, this has been happening for a while now and I think it’s worth discussing…

[Fade in] …so, you think I’ve been poaching from your team? Can you give me an example?

Yeah. Think about Jay Conner, and… Lindsay Tait… Just to name two.

Really? So… tell me what you think happened there. Why do you think they wanted to make a move?

They were happy with us. Then I hear you started nosing around. And… then pretty soon they’re working for you. Pretty straightforward.

Ah… I think there’s a misunderstanding here. They both actually approached me. Jay was interested in working closer to home. 

 And Lindsay mentioned some personality conflicts… didn’t get into details, but wanted a change. I actually encouraged her to talk to you about it. Didn’t mean to step on any toes.

Well… you did. And come on Trevor, I find it hard to believe that you don’t know what you’re doing.

Listen, as I said, I think this is a misunderstanding, and I’d like to just figure out how we move forward… how we can maybe prevent this kind of thing in the future.

Stop poaching my people. Start with that.

Okaay… I was actually thinking of this as more of a communication issue. I mean…

 maybe I could’ve given you a heads up as soon as they approached me. Just to keep you in the loop on what was going on.

A heads up?

Yes, and maybe we can figure something out for meetings too. The whole interrupting thing.

 Like I said, I don’t recollect interrupting you. So I don’t see how that’s an issue. But this whole business of poaching people is something we definitely have to talk about…

Article

Read the article with your teacher.

Healthy and unhealthy ways of managing and resolving conflict

Healthy responses to conflict:

  • The capacity to empathize with the other person’s viewpoint
  • Calm, non-defensive, and respectful reactions
  • A readiness to forgive and forget, and to move past the conflict without holding resentments or anger
  • The ability to seek compromise and avoid punishing
  • A belief that facing conflict head on is the best thing for both sides

Unhealthy responses to conflict:

  • An inability to recognize and respond to the things that matter to the other person
  • Explosive, angry, hurtful, and resentful reactions
  • The withdrawal of love, resulting in rejection, isolation, shaming, and fear of abandonment
  • An inability to compromise or see the other person’s side
  • Feeling fearful or avoiding conflict; expecting a bad outcome

Source: https://www.helpguide.org

Discussion:

Answer the following questions to your teacher.

1. What are your ways to solve a conflict in your team?

2. Why do you think conflicts occur?

Let’s practice

Fill in the blanks with words from the box below. Be sure to put any verbs in the right tense.

          open         eyes            hands              talk             head               toes

1. Hey Brad, I just wanted to give you a__________up that your documents can be picked up at the printing office after 10:00 this morning.

2. It was pretty clear at the shareholders meeting that people don’t really see ____________to eye about the future of the company.

3. If we don’t get some of these problems out in the _______, people are going to continue feeling stressed out.

4. Okay, well I think we can dismiss the idea of bonuses out of ________, considering our financial position.

5. Jamie, I don’t want to step on your_________here, but I revised that job posting you sent out.

6. All right everyone, let’s just calm down and __________through these issues like professionals.